


Friendly Neighborhood Spideypool

by shitucute



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Angst, Harry is Deadpool, M/M, Marvel Universe, Past Relationship(s), Rimming, Smut, Spideypool - Freeform, Violence, louis is spider-man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 03:21:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6498820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitucute/pseuds/shitucute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t fuck with me, I’m not in the mood.” Louis’ got the urge to punch him in the face, but he knows deep down that if anything it’ll just add fuel to Harry's innuendo fire.</p><p>“You know I only fuck you, not with you. There’s a difference. It’s slight but still there.” He’s joking, but it’s sincere in a way that only Deadpool could make it. It gives Louis a strange mix of emotions, his body doesn’t know whether to fill with butterflies or to knee Deadpool in the balls again for insinuating them fucking.</p><p>or, Harry is Deadpool and Louis is Spider-Man and they've got way too much history</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendly Neighborhood Spideypool

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gosh, I know I say this at the beginning of everyone of my fics, but it literally took a village to make this and I'm so thankful for everyone who pushed me to finally write this and get it done.
> 
> Thank you so much [Grace](http://achilleus.tumblr.com) for editing this for me you are truly amazing, and you never cease to amaze me!  
> [Kimberly](http://newmanagement.tumblr.com) literally saved me while writing this, probably wouldn't have finished this without your lovely support. And thank you to Kassie, and the whole Spideypool group chat! You guys always make me laugh and helped motivate me to finish this damn thing. 
> 
> Also, I know nothing about New York so please don't hold that against me. Now before this gets too long I'm just going to stop it right here.
> 
> Leave comments and kudos if you enjoy they really mean a lot to me and my tumblr will be at the end :)

Louis is fed up with literally everything today. When picturing his frustration he sees it as tall and broad as the motherfucking Oscorp building. It seems to be encompassing his mind and body, a constant headache he can’t seem to get away from. He’s had this weird feeling growing in the pit of his stomach all day, a chill on the back of his neck. A weird consistent feeling like someone’s watching him, not to mention he’s almost broken his neck from whiplash with all the times he’s looked over his shoulder. 

Recently, there’s been this  _ thing _ that’s been making him hurt people, hypnotizing him to hurt innocent civilians. When it happens he feels like he has no control over his body; his hands won’t follow what his brain is telling them to do and the worst part is that Louis has no idea who or  _ what  _ is causing it.

So, when Deadpool suddenly drops in on one of Louis’ memorable thought provoking sessions while he’s laying on a roof, it’s not unwarranted that Louis’ eyes narrow and suspicion creeps into him. He immediately webs up Deadpool’s face, going straight into attack mode. There’s no second chances with Deadpool, if he gets the upperhand Louis will have to succumb to it. There’s no chance in hell that Louis’ going to let that happen.

Louis hops up from where he’s lying down and looks around, searching for various things that he can hit Deadpool with if need be. His spider sense are on high alert, trying to figure out if he’s in any immediate danger. Louis can’t rule out the fact that this might be a ploy to distract him from a much bigger problem.

“What do you want from me?” Louis asks, stalking around him, like two wrestlers in a match. Deadpool reaches for something in his back and Louis immediately starts running towards him. He gains momentum with each step before planting an uppercut kick straight to Deadpool’s jaw. 

Deadpool stumbles and drops whatever it was that he was holding, favoring to place his hand on his jaw and massaging the ache that Louis most certainly put there. Louis gets back into fighting stance, not letting up for anybody. Especially Deadpool.

“Oh baby, you know I like it rough.” Louis can’t really see it through his mask, but he feels the smirk anyway. He has no qualms in walking up to Deadpool and kneeing him right in his crotch, he did say he liked it rough. It seems almost robotic, a thoughtless thing to knee Deadpool in the balls for making a  crude joke.  

Deadpool keels over, falling to his knees. “Fuck, you know I need those for when we make our perfect superhuman mutant babies.” He whines, voice gone high, like a prepubescent boy who’s balls haven’t quite dropped yet.

“How do I know it’s really you?” Louis asks, his forehead creasing on it’s own accord. It’s a thing that happens when he’s nervous. It’s just Deadpool’s done this shit before, even if he ended up on Louis’ side at the end of it all. He’s still a mercenary, thirsty for any job that comes to him. Louis doesn’t trust him. He wouldn’t even trust him to watch over the plants in his apartment if he left for a week, Louis would probably return to his whole building burned down.

“Can’t you recognize me by my telling wit?” He’s still on his knees in front of Louis, and when Louis realizes the position they’re in he quickly takes a couple steps back. He really doesn’t need to give Deadpool anymore obvious innuendos.

“Don’t fuck with me, I’m not in the mood.” Louis’ got the urge to punch him in the face, but he knows deep down that if anything it’ll just add fuel to his innuendo fire.

“You know I only fuck you, not  _ with _ you. There’s a difference. It’s slight but still there.” He’s joking, but it’s sincere in a way that only Deadpool could make it. It gives Louis a strange mix of emotions, his body doesn’t know whether to fill with butterflies or to knee Deadpool in the balls again for insinuating them fucking.

Louis stands in indignation, he doesn’t have time for Harry’s quips. He’s got to find this villain before they strike again and Louis hurts someone else. He can’t risk it and trust that this is actually the real Deadpool. He could be a fake, or he could be working with the bad guy. Louis will be able to read him better with his mask off.

“Alright, if you really wanna see this ugly mug that bad all you had to do was ask, Spidey.” Louis holds his breath. Harry takes his mask off in what seems to be slow motion as if there was a movie set around him, filming his every movement. Louis can’t help but roll his eyes.  
  


“Harry,” It’s not the first time he’s taken his mask off in front of him, but Harry still takes Louis’ breath away. If only he didn’t have his whole blood-hungry, vicious, mercenary thing going on with him Louis might not have kicked him out all those months ago. But Louis knows the real Harry, and he knows that he’s never serious when he makes innuendos at or about Louis. He knows that his talk of commitment is just that,  _ talk _ . It’s all for the invisible film set he’s got going on in his mind.

To him there’s a difference between Deadpool and Harry. Harry is a lot more real than the guy running around in a red spandex suit with katanas in each hand. Harry’s the guy who pulls a ring pop from his ass and asks Louis to marry him after a round of particularly good sex, who also loves chimichangas and used to constantly ask Louis if he could deepthroat one just for him. Deadpool is the guy that Harry always goes back to in the end, though, he never seems to stick around with Louis much; goes wherever the wind takes him, or blows him he should say.

Louis gulps and cocks out his hip, frustrated that he still can’t tell if it’s actually Harry or not.

“Spidey,” Harry’s got a telling smirk on his face, like he’s reading his brain. Louis hates that about him. “It’s not gonna be enough, is it? What’s this thing done to you if you’re even more paranoid than usual?” Louis stays quiet. He doesn’t want to talk about the things he’s done while being under the influence of this other person’s power.

“Well fuck, I guess if it means that much to you. The only way I can truly prove that it’s me, is if I start shooting myself.” Louis doesn’t see the gun that Harry pulls out, until it’s too late.

“Wait, what?” Louis says, right as Harry shoots himself in the chest twice. There’s always a bit of Louis that panics when he sees Harry get hurt, even though the rational part of his brain knows that he’ll never really get hurt not with the superhuman healing factor. He can’t see any blood, because it blends in well with his suit. Louis’ only heard that line about two million times.

“Jesus Christ, always the flair for the dramatics.” Louis rolls his eyes, but he can’t stop himself from walking over to make sure Harry’s okay when Harry starts coughing hysterically.

“What’s a couple bullets to the heart among ex-lovers?” Harry says, voice wheezy from all the coughing.

“We’re not ex-“ Louis huffs, before he gets cut off. They are  _ not _ ex-lovers.

“Whatever you say, Spidey.” Louis chooses to ignore him, which always tends to work the best in cases dealing with Harry.

“Fuck, I really thought I had him that time.” Louis says, it’s more to himself than Harry. A little bit of him was actually hoping that Deadpool had something to do with this. That maybe Louis wasn’t actually driving himself insane, that this person chasing him and somehow influencing his decisions was real and not just a figment of his imagination.

“Need I say again, what’s with the attitude Spidey? I didn’t come all the way from the best strip club in Toronto to hear your usual paranoid self.” Harry’s fully healed now, a hint of his skin peeks through the bullet shaped holes in his suit.

Louis can leave now that he knows Harry’s safe and that he’s not a potential threat. To Louis at least. Who knows what made him come back to Queens, but whatever it was he can’t focus on it now. He has to keep searching and thinking about whatever the hell might be behind this.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with. Go back to stuffing dollar bills in men’s thongs, I’ve got real work to do. And don’t you dare watch my ass as I leave.” Louis webs away and while he swings from one building to another he can faintly hear Harry shouting at him.

“Spandex was specifically made to accentuate your amazing  _ ass _ ets. You’ve got an ass like Louis Tomlinson from One Direction!” He tries not to grin at himself when he hears it. That boy does have one  _ fine  _ ass.

Louis can’t seem to settle down, his spider sense is out of whack and his hands won’t stop shaking. The pure jitteriness running through his body, is making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. What sucks is that he can’t even go back to his apartment. He can’t risk the chance that whoever is doing this to him isn’t following him, that they might figure out his secret identity and show it to everyone in the vast vicinity of New York.

He ends up at some dinky motel where absolutely no one should be able to find him. It’s past two in the morning and he’s still blinking blankly at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. His glasses are on the side table beside him, so all he can see is the blurry outline of the ceiling fan blowing above him. It makes him feel on edge and vulnerable in the most horrible way.

  
There’s a slam outside of his motel door an d he hears a few soft swears after the loud noise. He quickly puts his glasses on and reaches towards his web shooters which are also sitting on the table. He silently slips on the gloves before padding towards the motel room door.

He takes a deep breath and whips open the door, shooting webs at whoever is outside his room. “Aha! I caught you, you fucker.” Louis shouts in victory, before he looks down and sees Harry clad in his Deadpool costume rolling around on the ground.

“Jesus fucking Christ, what’s in that stuff? That’s harsher than a fifteen year old girl’s pepper spray.” Harry wipes the webs from his face, blinking crazily trying to get it out of his eyes. When he finally regains himself enough to, Harry gets up and pummels right into Louis’ motel room before Louis can say anything about it. He heads straight to the bathroom and Louis hears the bathroom sink running.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to walk in uninvited?” Louis spits at him. He feels like a scared, paranoid cat, his metaphorical fur bristling in the wind.

“Aren’t you glad I’m not a vampire?” Harry finishes in the bathroom and then comes out in the main room. He immediately starts undressing, taking off his mask and by the time he’s done he’s left butt naked in front of Louis. 

Louis honestly isn’t sure if he’s more surprised by the fact that Harry found out where he is or, that Harry goes commando in his suit. That doesn’t mean that he stays and watches when Harry starts stripping off his spandex suit. Louis goes into the bathroom, hopping up on the bathroom counter.

“Thrilled. How did you find me?” Louis asks, looking down at his hands. He’s definitely not thinking about the very naked Harry standing in the other room.

“Wasn’t that hard, just followed the reek of paranoia and sweet ass and it brought me straight to you.” Louis hears every movement of Harry’s as he carefully folds his suit and puts it away in one of the drawers. Every slight movement is a harsh ring on his spider sense, it leaves his hands fidgeting nervously on his thighs. He can’t seem to settle down.

“I’m being serious.” Louis says lowly, he tries to focus on watching his legs dangle from the sink. That doesn’t help either though, because it makes him think about the fact that his feet can’t reach the ground.

“That should be your new motto. So, did your spidey senses tell you I was outside, or are you more ex-machina than I previously thought?” Harry plops down on Louis’ bed. Louis snaps his head up at the sound of Harry settling down on the bed. He’s not particularly thrilled with what he sees, which is Harry relaxing completely nude on his bed his arms crossed behind his head. If Louis didn’t know him so well he’d think he was just being casual, but sadly he knows him better than that and right now he can tell Harry’s trying to flex his biceps.

“My spider senses didn’t tell me anything, they couldn’t even if they wanted to. Your loud ass clunking around was what gave you away.” Louis shields his eyes as he hops off the bathroom counter and heads back into the room. “Can you please get under the sheets to preserve what little modesty you have left?” 

“Oh sweetums, I have absolutely no modesty left. But since you’re so insistent about not seeing my amazing, beautiful anatomy, I’ll humor you and get under the sheets. Wouldn’t want the neighborhood spider-man to be uncomfortable.” Harry shuffles under the sheets and wiggles his eyebrows at Louis when he’s snug underneath them. “Anyways, what’s going on with your spidey senses?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Louis snipes back, crossing his arms while pacing around the room. His shoulders are practically at his ears with how tense he is.

“That’s kind of why I’m asking, baby boy.” Louis rolls his eyes, but eventually sits down on the edge of the bed anyway. He makes sure to sit himself as far from Harry as he can possibly get on the queen sized bed. He clenches his hands on the soft duvet to stop them from shaking.

“It started a week or two ago,” Louis says. “I was saving this guy from a mob heist and when I was about to place him down in a safe place he stabbed me, but when I went to retaliate he suddenly wasn’t by my side. I looked around for him everywhere, but he was gone. Disappeared without a trace.” Louis can remember it like it was yesterday. The sudden flare of pain in his abdomen, the immediate confusion when the man was gone, vanished into thin air.

“I’ll have you know right now, that you do sound a bit like you belong in Shutter Island.” Harry says, casually. Louis just ignores him.

“I didn’t think anything of it but after that my spider senses started going nuts. They’ve been flaring up at the oddest times and I can’t control them. It’s almost like they’re being overstimulated by something. They keep focusing on the weirdest things, like the rustling of sheets or people walking two miles from here.” Louis takes a deep breath, before he says the next part. It’s the main reason why he’s got to stop whoever is doing this to him. “The other day, I swear I saw someone mugging this poor pregnant lady, but when I stopped this mugger. I snapped out of whatever trance I was in and then this pregnant lady was lying on the ground. She was screaming and crying and telling me to stop. Turns out I had just thrown her to the ground, there was no mugger it was just  _ me.  _ Whoever is doing this to me is clouding my perception and judgement. I’m mistaking a pregnant lady walking down the street as a mugging scene.” Louis puts his head in his hands and shakes his head. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever forgive himself for that, even if he didn’t mean to do it. Fuck, he sounds insane.

“Wait a minute, you threw a pregnant lady to the ground? If I wasn’t in love with you before, I sure as hell am now. Keep talking, I’m almost at half mast.” Harry sounds so enthused about it, his pupils blown wide and his voice gone shrill with excitement like Louis didn’t put this innocent pregnant lady’s life at risk. Harry has absolutely no conscious. 

“Disregarding that statement. Sometimes I also hear this voice in my head and I can’t put my finger on where I’ve heard it before, but it sounds eerily familiar.” Louis turns to look at Harry’s face. He’s expecting to see Harry’s face still in glee from the pregnant lady incident, but instead his face is withdrawn and deadly serious. It puts Louis off.

“What’s it been saying?” He still has the same serious look on his face, it’s not one Louis’ had the pleasure of seeing often. His eyes are dark and drawn, and Louis wonders if this is what he looks like right when he’s about to kill someone.

“Stuff like  _ your time is up _ and _ your life is in my hands _ . Just stupid things like that.” Louis tries to play it off, but even saying it shivers go down his spine. Thinking about that slimy voice whispering in his head and fucking up his spider-sense makes him sick to his stomach.

“So, we’re talking less  _ your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it _ more  _ I’ll be back _ ?” Even with Harry’s joking words his tone remains serious, and Louis feels the rare sensation that he needs to lighten the mood.

“Definitely more _ I’ll be back _ .” He goes full out on his terminator impression. It miraculously works and Harry’s face breaks out into this incredibly fond smile, like he’s proud of Louis for his impression. Louis quickly looks away, he’s definitely not engaging those kind of looks anymore.

“Well there’s nothing really you can do about it right this second.” Harry lets out a sigh and visibly relaxes into the bed, patting the bed on his left side. The international sign for  _ come join me _ . “You wanna come join me on this lovely motel bed? Might help mellow out those crazy spidey-senses of yours? I think I already spot two come spots on this comforter, oh wait, nevermind, three come stains. Wanna make it four, sweet spider o’ mine?” Harry wiggles his eyebrows and sticks his tongue in his cheek.

“Not in a million years, Haz.” Louis gets up from the bed, suddenly feeling squeamish sitting even that close to Harry.

“You can’t just pull out old nicknames like that and expect me to keep my hands to myself all night, Boobear.” Harry’s face goes all soft and his nose scrunches up.

“Don’t call me that.” Louis snipes. Only Aunt May calls him that and Harry is  _ definitely  _ not allowed to call him that, especially after everything that’s happened.

“I swear to whatever god, you the reader, believe in, that I won’t call you Boobear again if you come sleep with me on this bed.” Louis has absolutely no idea what the hell he’s talking about when he says ‘ _ the reader’ _ , but the implication has him biting his lip.

It’s an easy out. Of course Louis knows that, but something in him is telling him to go and lay next to Harry. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s slept in those arms, or any arms for that matter. He always sleeps better sharing a bed anyway. He doesn’t know particularly why but he indulges.

“Just this once and don’t touch me.” Louis comes over and takes off his gloves, placing them back on the side table. He slips under the covers. Harry doesn’t budge over from where he’s laying spread eagle on the whole bed, leaving Louis little room to get comfy. 

Louis huffs and squirms around until he gets comfortable, even if comfortable means rolling over and getting Harry to hold Louis to his chest without Louis having to specifically ask. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s never meant anything. Not to Harry anyway. 

His breath gets slow and steady, little puffs of air that hit Harry’s bare chest. He’s about to fall asleep when Harry starts singing. “ _ Our mental synchronization can hold but one explanation, that you and I were just meant to be _ .” Louis doesn’t recognize the song at first, but when he does he can’t help but let out a giggle. Harry squeezes Louis closer to him and Louis bites his lip to keep from laughing. 

“ _ Say goodbye to the pain of the past, we don’t have to feel it anymore. Love is an open door _ .” Harry starts full out belting it to the point where Louis almost has to cover his ears from the sheer volume of it. He reaches out to pinch Harry’s nipple instead, making him cut off with a squeal.

“If you sing one more word I’m gonna web your mouth shut.” Louis mumbles, twisting Harry’s nipple one more time before finally releasing it.

“Oh kinky.” Harry sneers, as he starts playing with Louis’ still shaky fingertips.

“I’m being serious.” Louis says, huffing quietly. He still lets Harry keep playing with his fingers. For some reason, the light touches seem to be calming to his frantic nerves, leaving them still and calm for once.

“Don’t doubt it for a second, Spidey.” Harry coos at him, leaving a sleepy kiss on the top of Louis’ head. Harry starts rubbing up and down his back, lulling Louis until he finally falls asleep. His spider-sense more at ease than it’s been in the last couple of weeks.

  
  


I t’s a few hours after he’s kicked Harry out of the motel room and told him to go bug someone else that he hears about the bus crash. He sees it on the television and he immediately zooms off to see if he can be of any service. Anything to get him out of the dingy motel room.

He’s soaring through the skies with his webs when he hears the laughter. It’s coming from the street beneath him. He looks down, trying to figure out the exact location it’s coming from, but he can’t pinpoint the origin of it’s whereabouts.

He lands on the busy streets of Manhattan. The buzz of the city a backburner in his mind, the loud mechanical laughter in his head taking over. It starts getting progressively louder the closer he gets to the bus crash scene. 

He hears the cackle from behind him, he whips around trying to find the source and when he sees it it’s just a quick black figure heading into an alley. He runs towards it, carelessly pushing people over in the process. He turns into the alley and catches a quick glance of the person who’s been patronizing him for weeks on end. The person who’s the cause of making him feel like he needs to be put in a mental ward and once he sees him it all makes sense. It’s the Chameleon. 

The Chameleon flashes him a quick smirk and then somehow disappears and leaves Louis standing there feeling like a fool. After that, he’s too disgruntled to go and help with the bus crash. He starts making his way back to the motel room in a state of frenzy. It’s probably for the best, that he heads back to the motel, because the Chameleon could still be around and make him hurt another innocent person. 

His mind starts racing through all the incidents that the Chameleon has done to him, past and present. He feels stupid for not realizing who it was sooner. It’s as clear as day, that it was the Chameleon all along. He bursts through the motel room and takes off his mask, feels the need to let out some stress. Punch a wall, take down a bad guy, knock over a lamp,  _ something _ .

“What’s got you so worked up, babycakes?” Louis lets out a loud shriek when he hears him. Harry’s there sitting on the bed eating a taco and watching some trashy reality television show.

“I told you to leave.” Louis says sternly, walking over and turning off the television. He’s in no mood to deal with Harry, now especially.

“If I listened to everything you said, I wouldn’t be known as the merc with a mouth now would I?” Harry smirks, popping a chip in his mouth. Fuck, he always thinks he’s got the upperhand doesn’t he?

“Leave right this second or so help me god, I will punch you in your face.” Louis points his finger at Harry, it’s almost like he’s telling off a little kid. Which with more consideration is pretty much what he’s doing.

“Don’t use the lord’s name in vain, Spidey. Thought you knew better than that.” Harry still has that stupid smirk and Louis has the right mind to go over and slap it off his pretty face. Instead he clenches his fists and walks to the bathroom, slamming the door.

“I’m taking a shower and when I come out I want you  _ gone _ .” He shouts through the door. Then he practically rips off his costume and angrily folds it, placing it neatly on the ground. He turns the shower on at a scalding hot temperature and jumps in.

It hurts, but it’s also a little therapeutic. It makes him close his eyes and just take a few deep breaths, he’s so focused on his deep breathing he doesn’t even hear the door open or notice Harry jump into the shower with him until it’s too late to tell him off.

“I told you to leave.” Louis says defeated, his shoulders slumped as he leans his forehead against the tile wall. Harry’s hands reach out and start massaging his shoulders. Louis likes to think he at least tries to push him away, but that’s a lie.

“Tough day at work, Honey?” Harry says it so condescendingly that it makes Louis bristle. He doesn’t have the energy to call him out for it though.

“You’ve got no idea.” Louis sighs. Harry’s clever hands dig into knots that he didn’t even know were there. He has to bite his lip to keep from groaning.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry’s face is a lot closer to his ear than it was before. Harry’s long hair brushing the back of Louis’s neck, making him shiver.

“Not right now, no.” There’s a bit of a lull in speaking after that. Harry starts massaging Louis’ lower back, his hands right above where Louis wants them to be. He knows he really shouldn’t want it but he’s tired and his mind won’t shut up and he wants Harry’s hands on his ass, damn it. Warm lips touch the back of his neck.

“Harry.” He means to make it come out harsher, but instead it sounds more like a whine. His body thrums with all of Harry’s attention. It’s been a long time since he’s been touched like this and he can’t deny the want in the back of his mind.

“Sh, it’s okay. Just let me do this for you,” Harry whispers, with his lips still attached to Louis’ neck. His hot breath makes Louis shudder, his toes curling on the grimy shower floor. Apparently, that’s all Louis’ body needs to hear to finally give in and lean back into Harry’s touch. 

Harry’s hands come forward to grip onto Louis’ hips, his touch surprisingly soft, as if he knows Louis needs to be handled gently right at this moment. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry murmurs his chin coming up to rest on Louis’ shoulder. Harry’s hands reach towards Louis’ stomach, rubbing over it soothingly. Louis’ half hard from all of Harry’s light touches and solid body pressing against Louis’ back. It’s driving him up the wall. Louis refuses to thrust his hips up, but he’s so desperate for Harry’s hand on his cock that his hips jerk up on their own accord.

“Someone’s desperate.” Harry chuckles into Louis’ neck. Louis’ cheeks go bright red, shame filling up in his chest. In a good way though, only ever a good way with Harry.

“You’ve only got about ten more seconds to do something about it before I knock your teeth out of your skull.” Louis wishes he sounded stronger, wishes he had more control over the situation but he doesn’t. He’s never been particularly put together during sex, which sucks because he can’t trust Harry with his emotions, and sex isn’t just sex with Harry. It never is, for him at least. He could never truly read what Harry felt about it. 

“I can do a lot in ten seconds.” Harry muses, leaving a few kisses on Louis’ neck. Louis musters up enough energy to step on Harry’s toes. Harry lets out a yelp, but doesn’t jump back.

“Five,” Louis says hostile, the water is still beating him on the chest but it’s more of an afterthought than anything.

“Alright, alright.” Harry grumbles, he crowds closer to Louis and finally reaches a hand down to grab at his cock. Louis lets out a muffled moan, his hands scratching at his thighs to keep himself quiet. Harry sets a slow pace, jerking Louis off like it’s the most mundane thing he could be doing right now.

“Why are you being so quiet?” Harry asks after a couple seconds, and Louis can feel his eyes on him. Probably serious and brooding. “Am I not doing something right? Always so stingy about what you like and don’t like. Gonna kick me in the face if I’m not doing something right like last time?” Harry’s hand picks up the pace, his grip tight and hot on Louis’ cock. Louis practically falls against the tile wall, at the last second though he puts out his hand to stop him. He bites onto his biceps to keep from making any noise. 

Harry plays with the tip of his dick, and Louis’ thighs start to shake. His hips thrusting forward chaotically, trying to fuck into Harry’s hand. He’s biting his lip harshly, still trying to keep the sounds in despite Harry’s constant pressure on his dick and the insane amount of pleasure it’s giving Louis.

“I know it feels good, baby. I don’t know why you’re trying to hold back, I love it when you’re loud.” Louis whimpers at that, his eyes squeezed shut. He can’t see any part of Harry while this is happening. It feels like everything will fall apart if he sees Harry’s face, if he just opens his eyes. 

Harry’s face is always so serious when he’s getting someone off, collected and focused. It’s the most focused Louis will probably ever see him. He wonders if Harry’s like that with everyone else he has sex with, or if it’s just Louis. 

Louis keeps his mouth closed out of sheer will and force, clenching his jaw shut to keep all of it in. His Aunt May did tell him he was always a stubborn one. Right when he makes this decision Harry’s hand circles around the base of Louis’ cock, squeezing tight and holding there. It cuts off the blood flow to Louis’ cock even when he’s so close to the edge. His face heats up in frustration when he’s not getting the pleasure he so desperately wants.

“Ah,” Louis chokes out, his head dropping down between his shoulders. 

“There we go. Now what did I say? I like it when you’re loud, baby, so be your loud self.” Louis lets out another whimper at that. Harry’s other hand cups Louis’ balls squeezing and rubbing them until Louis’ toes curl in on the shower floor. Louis’ panting now, his chest heaving with the weight of his heart beating faster than it ever has. He’s moaning at every stroke. His cock full and pulsing, ready to come at a moment’s notice.

“You looked so good the other day. Fuck, I missed your ass in red spandex. Pictures don’t do it justice, baby.” Harry rambles, jerking Louis off slower now, holding up a steadier pace now that he’s got what he wanted. Louis can’t help but feel the hot arousal stir in his gut from hearing that. It means that maybe Harry had thought about him when he was away, that even if he was in some strip club in Canada, Louis was still on his mind. He bites back a groan, still failing miserably to hold back his moans. 

“Can’t believe you’re letting me jack you off in a dirty motel shower.” Harry pants right in his ear, and it sounds like the stupid dirty talk is getting to him too. “You love it though. I can tell by the way you’re fucking my hand.” Louis moans out loud, his cheeks burning from the embarrassment of it yet his hips are still thrusting up. He wants to get the release that’s been building inside of him ever since Harry first landed on that rooftop a couple days ago.

“You can’t deny it now, baby. You love it dirty. The friendly neighborhood Spider-Man likes to get jacked off by the Regenerating Degenerate.” Harry’s hand sneaks behind Louis’ balls and he fingers at Louis’ hole, gently pressing up against him. 

Louis’ orgasm catches him off guard, takes his breath away with it. A shiver runs up his entire spine and a loud moan is wrenched from his throat. Meanwhile, the shower washes away his come as soon as it hits his chest.

Harry’s holding most of Louis’ weight when he comes back down to earth. His hands are still shaking, but he feels better. Less like his mind is eating away at him, more sated and happy. Also a little bit sleepy.

“What about you?” He slurs, his feet stumbling around. He always feels a bit drunk after a particularly good orgasm.

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine Spidey. Not the first time I’ve had to whack one out to your sleeping image.” He’s got this cocky ass smile on his face, and Louis curls his toes. He wants to whack that smirk off his face but curling his toes in defiance will have to be enough for now.

“That’s only slightly disconcerting.” Louis says, trying to keep his eyes open but failing miserably. He’s failing all over the place tonight.

“Only slightly? I guess I’m improving, becoming more like you, Spidey. Guess you’re a good influence on me.” Harry starts moving Louis, presumably to the bed but it could also be to a fiery pit of death and Louis wouldn’t see it coming at all.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Louis quips, Harry places him on the bed and tucks himself behind Louis under the covers.

“Let’s just get you to bed and worry about my character development in the morning.” Harry mumbles, turning the side table lamp off before pressing himself to Louis’ back. Louis’ out like a light, and it’s the second best night’s sleep he’s had in months.

  
  
  


Louis wakes up in a sleepy haze, with a stale taste in his mouth. He rolls his face into the pillow. He completely and wholeheartedly does not want to wake up and face the disaster that this day has the potential to be. 

He feels arms move up his back, caressing his shoulder blades before settling down in his lower back. It shocks him, for a second he forgot about what happened last night. He groans into the pillow, he shouldn’t have succumbed to Harry’s  _ Harryness. _ He should’ve known better, taken control of the situation more.

He means to move away, but the way the morning sun is hitting his back is really something truly amazing and incredibly soothing. Harry grumbles in his sleep and pulls Louis closer to him. Louis closes his eyes only meaning for a couple more moments of rest but he ends up somehow falling asleep again.

The second time he wakes up he’s more alert. He bolts up in the bed, sheets pillowing at his waist and spots Harry doing some weird thing with his hair in the bathroom mirror. Louis looks over to the rumpled sheets on the bed and then falls back on the bed with a loud thud.

“Finally awake, sweetheart?” Harry asks, walking out of the bathroom. This time he’s actually got a towel around his waist. Louis questions if it’s for Harry’s benefit or his own. “So, are you gonna tell me what got you so wound up yesterday?” 

“I guess I should, shouldn’t I.” Louis says it more for himself than Harry. If he had a choice he wouldn’t involve Harry anymore than he had to. Involving Harry means everything gets a little bit more reckless which leads it into being more dangerous, for Harry and everyone involved. Harry has absolutely no inhibitions when going into a fight, even though sometimes it’s admirable other times it’s just stupidity at it’s fineness.

“Well damn, don’t flatter me with compliments.” Harry huffs, giving Louis his classic _ I’m definitely not pouting, but I also totally am _ pouty face. 

“Do you want me to tell you, or not?” Louis snaps, raising one of his eyebrows at Harry. Harry puts his hands up in surrender and flops down on the bed next to Louis. “It’s the chameleon.” Louis sighs, pulling the sheet up further on his body.

“Who?” Harry looks genuinely confused. He’s also got that stupid look on his face like he’s not taking this situation seriously. Louis kicks Harry in the shin. Harry yelps and rubs over the spot Louis kicked.

“The Chameleon? Master of disguise? Can pretty much turn into anyone, great impressionist? Any of this ringing a bell?” Harry looks even more confused than when they started. Out of everyone Harry has fought over the years, he’s seriously never run into the Chameleon. Louis’ a bit skeptical.

“Nope,” Harry says flatly, running his hands through his own hair. “Quite frankly I’m still stuck on the name The Chameleon. Are all Spider-Man super villains named after various animals?” Harry’s got a little smirk on his face. That smug bastard.

“What? No, not all of them.” Now that Louis thinks about it, a lot of the villains he tends to fight happen to be named after animals. 

“Anyway, what’s the Chameleon done to you in the past to make you this paranoid about him?” Louis chooses not to think about the fact that Harry chose not to use the word scared. Even though that’s what Louis is, scared.

“He’s-” He cuts himself off, trying to think of the right way to put it. “He’s the man who, a couple years ago, transformed into me and assassinated two people while wearing my  suit. It was a big deal, my whole career was on the line. Even when it had been proven that it was the Chameleon and not me. I still had to regain the trust of the city and it’s people. The Chameleon is a master of disguise and manipulation. He can turn into anyone he sees perfectly, down to the freckles on their cheek.” Louis’ got chills running down his back, just thinking about it. He hates being manipulated by someone more than anything. 

“They don’t just call him the chameleon for nothing, he can blend in anywhere. He’s more manipulative and vindictive than the regular bad guy. He’s going to be harder to trick and eventually catch.” Louis bites his lip and wiggles down further into the bed, burrowing himself in the comforter.

“You’re skilled with physical battles, but you’re not very good with the mental games, are you Spidey? That’s why this guy has got you so messed up.” Harry’s eyes keeping flickering over Louis’ face, trying to find something telling there. Louis tries to keep his expression indifferent. Even though Harry’s completely right, Louis’ too prideful to admit it and besides he can’t let Harry’s head get any bigger.

“Didn’t know the merc with the mouth was also a therapist.” Louis snarks and turns over on the bed so that he’s no longer facing Harry. 

“I’m just saying-” Louis cuts Harry off before he can say something even more stupid than usual.

“Yeah, I know.” Louis agrees, he sits back up on the bed leaping out of it and walking over to the dressers to put on some clothes. “So how are we gonna stop him?” Louis asks, glancing back at Harry who’s still casually laying on the bed. God, nothing ever gets through to him, does it?

“We’re going to have to lure him out, he seems to know where I’m going to be at all times. Like at that bus crash yesterday, and when I first saved that guy who ended up stabbing me. It shouldn’t be that hard to seek him out.” Louis picks out a regular hoodie and jeans, quickly putting them on.

“What if we stage a crime scene and then have you show up being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and then when the Chameleon shows up to taunt you, I can appear out of nowhere and knock him out.” Harry sounds way more enthusiastic than he should be at the thought of knocking this guy out.

“That’s actually not the worst idea.” Louis says, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets and walking over to the bed.

“I  _ am _ good for somethings. Not just a pretty face.” Harry dramatically flips his hair.

“Wouldn’t exactly call your face pretty.” Louis quips, while Harry lets out a shocked gasp, holding his hand to his chest.

“Spidey, how could you?” Harry says, shocked as all could be. His mouth hanging open in indiginition. “Also, are we just not going to talk about how I jacked you off in the shower yesterday?” Harry says it quick, like he thinks he can catch Louis off guard with the question. To bad that exact question has been ringing around in his head all morning, and he’s already planned his exact answer.

“That’s the plan.” Louis says, grabbing his computer bag and pulling out his computer. Time to do some research. 

“Fine.” Harry sighs, ever the melodramatic. “I hate that I became a Louie, you truly hurt me so much. I guess you can’t chose who you are though, and what’s in your heart.” Louis does best with just ignoring him, and googling Chameleon’s weaknesses.

  
Their opportunity comes a few days later. They made sure to alert the bank about the fake robbery commencing and surprisingly the bank was willing to cooperate. Their plan goes something like this: Louis gets there first and hides out in one of the ventilation shafts in the ceiling of the bank and waits for Harry to get there with his guns. Guns that Louis hopes to God he didn’t load behind his back.

They had had a horribly long argument before they finally _ both  _ agreed to not have any ammo in the guns. It’s safer for the civilians to not have loaded guns around them. Harry didn’t like that too much. Louis really needs to ask him to accompany Louis to his monthly therapy sessions. Dr. Brian could really help him with his lust and constant need for violence. Louis hears a commotion happening in the main lobby. He peers out of his hiding spot and spots Harry standing in the bank lobby. Time to shine.

Louis does his trademark Spider-Man move and slowly lowers himself down until he’s upside down in front of Harry, his legs in a diamond position. Only staying up from the sheer will of the one web that’s latched onto the ceiling. “Are we about to reenact the legendary upside down Spidey kiss?” Harry smirks, as he rolls up the bottom of the black ski mask he’s wearing. The only part of his face showing is the bottom of his nose and his lips, which are currently puckering up. Louis rolls his eyes and flips onto the ground.

“Sir, please put down your weapon.” Louis says putting his hand out to stop him. He makes sure to have a certain air of authority in his voice, when he says it. It’s not something that he usually has. He kinda likes the way it sounds.

“Jeez Louise, you really aren’t the best actor. Definitely no Elizabeth Taylor.” Harry snickered, crossing his arms over his chest. Louis has to physically restrain himself from webbing his mouth shut.

“Shut up!” Louis hisses, before getting back into character. “I have alerted the police about your presence they are on their way now, you have no means of escape. Please surrender your weapon and give up.” He sounds faintly like a robot, but he can’t tell if it’s just Harry’s acting note that’s making him think that, or if that’s really want he sounds like.

“Oh no!” Harry exclaims, dropping his two hopefully unloaded guns on the bank floor. “The Amazing Spider-Man has defeated another bad guy. Before you web me up for the cops, could you sign my ass? Can’t wait for the guys in prison to hear about how Spider-Man put me away.” Harry lets out a little squeal of joy, clapping his hands together. He faintly reminds Louis of a five year old girl who got to meet her favorite princess at Disneyland.

“Pfft, and you say  _ I’m _ the bad actor.” Right as Louis says that he sees something flicker in his peripheral vision. He turns to see what’s caught his attention and spots the Chameleon. There’s a maniacal smirk on his face as he transforms into a lady with a pink cardigan on with the smirk still planted on his face. It worked. He’s here.

Louis drops his act with Harry and runs over to her, grabbing onto the back of her neck. “It’s her, she’s the chameleon. I saw her change.” Louis insists, shaking her head around with his hand. The lady lets out a loud shriek.

“Please stop! I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The lady cries out, she’s putting on a convincing performance but Louis knows better. He grips tighter onto her neck, his eyes narrowing.

“Spidey, let her go.” Suddenly, Harry’s right there. Harry tries to put a hand on Louis’ shoulder, but Louis shrugs it off.

“What are you talking about? She’s the chameleon, I can’t just let her go. I saw her change.” Louis turns to look at Harry. Harry’s taken his ski mask off and he has a look of genuine pity on his face. “What you don’t believe me? It’s one of his masks look, I can prove it.” Louis starts pulling on the woman’s hair, trying to pull off the mask. The lady lets out another scream, she’s flailing around helplessly now but Louis doesn’t stop.

“Stop! I thought you were one of the good guys.” The lady starts crying, but Louis just rolls his eyes. The Chameleon is a master of manipulation, he’s just trying to play with him.

“I’m not one to be the voice of reason but you should consider putting her down, Spidey. This lady hasn’t done anything for you to think she’s the Chameleon.” Harry insists, and he sounds like a shrink trying to calm down a mental patient. It startles a genuine laugh out of Louis, because it’s so damn insane. Harry trying to be the voice of reason? If anything that’s more proof for Louis that he is right. This lady _ is  _ the Chameleon. Has to be.

“You should be taking my side! What’s wrong with you?” Louis starts shouting at him, because for some reason Harry’s thick skull isn’t getting it. He’s not crazy he saw her change. She’s the chameleon, he  _ knows _ . He stares Harry down and starts to squeeze the base of the lady’s neck tighter, making sure she doesn’t go anywhere.

“Boobear, trust me.” Harry looks him straight on, reaching out to touch the side of Louis’ cheek. Louis flinches at the sudden contact and at the old nickname. “Let the  _ innocent _ woman go.” Harry’s whole face looks pained, like he doesn’t know who he’s looking at. It makes Louis feel like he just got punched in the stomach. That’s when it clicks.

Louis eyes widen and he reluctantly lets go of her. He repeatedly blinks his eyes, trying to hold back tears. He’s done it again. He’s hurt another innocent civilian. “I’m so sorry-“  Louis’ cut off as something is jabbed into the side of his neck and some unknown liquid is injected into his bloodstream. 

“Ah!” Louis grabs the side of his neck, and turns around to see the same lady with the pink cardigan on cackling.

“Fuck Spidey,” Harry goes to help him, but he must see the lady cackling too, because he immediately stops and gets this look of absolute fury on his face. “You no good piece of _ shit _ , this is what happens when I try to be the good guy.” Harry reaches for his katanas and starts chasing after the lady. 

Louis suddenly feels sluggish, like someone put him on slow motion. His whole body a heavy weight. Louis falls to his knees, he pulls out the needle from his neck and drops it on the floor. His vision starts to get fuzzy but he can still see the faint outline of Harry running towards the lady. He’s in the position he uses when he’s about to behead someone. 

“No,” It feels like he’s screaming, but it’s probably nothing louder than a hoarse whisper. Louis uses his last bit of energy to release his web shooters. He aims them towards Harry’s ankles. He succeeds and they wrap around Harry’s ankles, making Harry trip over himself. “We don’t kill people.” Louis whispers mostly to himself, before he hits the floor. His vision gone completely black.

While he’s sleeping he hears figments of Harry’s voice, muffled voices of comfort and stray pets to his hair. He can’t tell if he imagines them or not. It’s almost like he’s asleep but still faintly aware of the things happening around him.

  
  
  


Louis finally bolts up awake. A sudden burst of energy rushes through him. He feels more energized then he’s been in the last few weeks. He flexes his hands and his bones crack and pop, releasing tension he didn’t know was there. He looks around and realizes that he’s back in his motel room, laying tucked into the bed. 

Had he dreamt about seeing the Chameleon? Did the last few weeks even happen? Was Harry ever even here in the first place? He puts his hand up to the side of his neck, where he remembers being stabbed with the needle. At the slight pressure he applies to it a burst of pain blossoms arises and he lets out a hiss. So, that definitely happened.

He looks around the room and sees a post-it note placed in the middle of the television. Louis hesitantly gets up and walks over to it. He picks it up and starts to read over what it says.

 

_ Gone to defend your honor. I’ll be back in time for dinner, Honey. _

_ Love, Pool Of Death _

_ (P.s. Chameleon is about to taste some of this amazing ass) _

Louis almost can’t believe what he’s reading. Harry went without him to try and kick the Chameleon’s ass. That’s when Louis looks at himself in the mirror and realizes that he’s not even wearing his own suit. He’s wearing Harry’s Deadpool one.

It’s surprisingly a lot more comfortable than his own. He’s going to have to ask Harry where he got his from. Anyway, the more pressing issue is the fact that Harry, crazy mercenary Deadpool is out wearing Louis’ suit pretending to be Spider-Man. He’s probably out there tarnishing Louis’ name as he sits here and thinks about how nice the fabric of the Deadpool suit feels against his bare skin, and he can’t possibly have that.

Louis rolls up the sleeves of Harry’s suit, only a little embarrassed that it’s a bit too big for him. He tries to think about where Harry might be, but he can’t get over the fact that he doesn’t even have his own web shooters with him. That means he doesn’t even have the advantage of being able to swing from building to building to try and figure out where the hell Harry might be. 

The only place he can think about where they might possibly be is the rooftop where Harry and Louis met up a couple days ago. Harry doesn’t know the area well enough to be able to use it to his advantage, so it’d make sense for him to go back to the only place he’s ever really been and thank God it’s only a short distance from the motel.

Louis bursts out of the motel and finds his way towards the rooftop, through various hitchhiking experiences and just plain running. When he gets there he kicks over a trash can over in frustration. The area is empty, except for the feral cat staring him down in the corner.

After that failure he finds himself walking through Times Square lost in thought. He doesn’t know where to go from here, but he knows he can’t just give up. He’s got no means of communication with Harry or the Chameleon, therefore no way of figuring out where they might be. That’s not going to stop him though, he’s going to figure out where they are one way or another.

He looks up at the various tall buildings surrounding him, that’s when he notices the big screens with different news channels broadcasting live events on them. It’s then that it clicks. If Spider-Man was having a final duel with a known super villain, it would be public and most likely broadcasted on a news station, or  _ at least _ a gossip rag. He pats down his suit looking for his phone, and curses when it’s not on him. It’s most likely still at the motel or in his suit that Harry is currently wearing. Great.

He starts running past pedestrians on the street. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get ahold of a phone or a computer in such a short amount of time, but he sure as hell is going to figure it out. 

That’s when it sinks in that he isn’t Spider-Man. He looks down at his suit just to solidify the thought. People only see him as Deadpool, so if he were to hypothetically steal a phone from a civilian, it wouldn’t be the friendly Spider-Man, it’d be the mercenary with a terrible sense of humor, Deadpool. He almost starts cackling like a cheesy supervillain.

He looks around and spots a businessman who’s got his phone out, he looks very important and snooty. The perfect victim for a crime of Deadpool. Louis sprints towards him and snatches the phone straight from the guy’s hand.

“Hey!” The guy shouts at him, he looks quite angry. It’s just then that Louis realizes that this guy is incredibly built and if he wanted to come after Louis and beat him up he would totally win. Louis panics and runs away faster than he was before.

“I’m gonna have to borrow this, promise I’ll get it back to you safe and sound though. This is Deadpool by the way, definitely not the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” Louis shouts over his shoulder, as the guy flips him off and tries to chase him, but Louis’ already got enough distance between them that he’s got no chance to catch up to him. An incredible rush of adrenaline as he’s running.

Louis finds a secluded alleyway and opens up the phone, glad to find the guy didn’t keep a passcode on the phone. He searches: _ Spider-Man Face Off.  _ The searches start coming up immediately and he clicks one with today’s date on it. 

**_Local man is trapped on roof with well known Spider-Man in Downtown New York on 35th street, they seem to be hostile towards each other. More details to come._ **

Jesus Christ, Harry is ruining his career with the city. Not that it was very good to start with, people tend to be very judgmental with things they don’t understand. Regular guys who happen to have spider superpowers seem to be on the very top of that list.

At least Louis was right about the rooftop part. He reaches his hand out to release his web shooters, he ends up standing there like an idiot for a couple seconds before he remembers that Harry’s got his web shooters.

“I’m gonna kick his ass when I get to him.” Louis grumbles, before he starts running again.   
  


He gets there in record time even though he’s not a fast runner. Must be the insane amount of adrenaline coursing through his system. He spots Harry on the roof with the Chameleon. Harry’s got his arms on his hips in a way that should be nonchalant, yet Louis can see Harry’s fingers gripping onto his own hips, which can only mean that the Chameleon is saying something that is severely pissing Harry off.  

Louis can only see the Chameleon’s back, but his muscles are at ease and his posture is ridiculously good. Louis can only picture the lazy smirk on his face. Like Harry though even with his relaxed stance he’s not completely at ease. Louis can tell he’s preparing for an attack, his legs slightly bent waiting for an impending impact that might come at any moment. 

He probably only thinks he’s gonna get attacked from Louis. Or Spider-Man, which is currently Harry. He’s definitely not expecting Harry in a Spider-Man suit, or Louis in a Deadpool suit. Or is he? Louis hopes not. He’s going to have to intervene before this gets more confusing than it needs to be, or the Chameleon has time to figure out the hoax. He probably thinks he’s five steps ahead of them. Louis can’t wait to kick his smug ass. With that thought Louis wonders why Harry’s not already kicking his ass, like his note had promised.

He looks around the roof, and tries to plot out his attack strategy. He plans on knocking the Chameleon over from behind when there’s a lull in conversation and he’s at his most vulnerable.

After a couple minutes and they still haven’t stopped talking though, Louis decides to just use the element of surprise to his advantage. He starts running on the platform, then jumps and lands on the roof and before the Chameleon can defend himself Louis promptly lands a kick straight to his jaw, leaving the Chameleon clutching his jaw and stumbling back.

“Spidey!” Harry says delighted, clapping his hands together.

“It’s crazy what a good nap can do for a superhero off his game.” Louis smirks, while heading over to the Chameleon. The Chameleon’s eyes glow bright green, his pupils are slits scarily resembling a snake. He should be called the Snake not the Chameleon, but Louis digresses.

“I should’ve seen this coming, I knew you weren’t acting like your usual self Spider-Man. You two have switched costumes. Very clever, but not clever enough.” He hisses at both of them. The Chameleon looks around, his movements scared and panicked. He’s been caught off his guard. He clearly wasn’t expecting to be tag teamed today, and now with Harry standing by Louis’ side helping him keep the Chameleon cowered in the corner, Louis couldn’t feel more like he’s got the upper hand.

“Hey, I was doing a good job pretending to be Spidey, was being very true to the character.” Harry pouts and gets close enough to the Chameleon to punch him in the stomach. The Chameleon keels over in pain, clutching his abdomen and coughing profusely.

“Sure you were.” Louis rolls his eyes at Harry. Right before the Chameleon can get his breath back, Harry knees him in the stomach again. The Chameleon falls to the ground, rolled up in a tiny ball. Louis winces at that, he’s never got used to watching people in pain. It’s scary how immune Harry seems to be to it.

“Anyways, was just telling the lovely Chameleon about how much he looks like a bad Voldemort ripoff. Did you copy voldemort, or did he copy you? There are way too many universes, I can’t keep these timelines straight.” Harry backs off from the Chameleon and turns to face Louis. That’s where they make their first mistake.

“You do talk some shit sometimes, don’t you?” Louis’ squints his eyes at Harry, and shakes his head. He is literally so unbelievable sometimes.

“It’s my job, baby boy.” Harry smirks and starts to move farther away from the Chameleon. Mistake numero dos. 

In the split second that both Harry and Louis’ attention is off of the Chameleon, his hand reaches out and grabs Harry’s ankle, pulling him down so that Harry trips and faceplants onto the hard pavement. 

Louis immediately tries to go to Harry’s side, but the Chameleon is already there. Hovering over Harry with another one of his needles. This time it’s filled with a purple substance, that’s bubbling at the top. Louis’ heart beats faster and he feels like he’s about to throw up.

“You take one more step closer, and I’ll inject it straight into his heart.” The Chameleon threatens, the needle placed right over Harry’s heart. Louis carefully puts his hands up, backing away slowly. He can’t see a potential way out of this and his spider senses are trying to make an escape plan, but Louis can’t escape. He can’t leave Harry here. There’s more than just his life at stake. 

“Okay, fine. Just let him go. This is between you and me, he has nothing to do with this.” Louis’ hands are still up. It’s killing him to be standing there doing nothing to help Harry. For now that’s all he can do though, so he suffers through it.

“He has everything to do with this. You should know that more than anyone, you were the one who put him in this situation.” The rational part of his brain knows that that’s not true, but his insecurities start bubbling up.  _ Fuck,  _ it was his fault. He was the one who got Harry involved in the first place. He shouldn’t have indulged in whatever it is that’s going on between the two of them.

“Fuck you’re almost as bad as Simon Cowell. Just kidding that guy is literally satan.”  Harry finally mumbles and lets out a chuckle at that. The Chameleon smashes his head against the pavement again.

“No!” Louis yells out and takes a step forward. It’s a gut reaction to reach out for Harry to make sure he’s okay. He realizes too late, that he’s made the wrong decision.

“Fuck,” Harry groans, and there’s no doubt in Louis’ mind that his nose is broken now. Not with all that blood seeping through his mask.

“Whoops, you took a step forward Spider-Man. Say goodbye to Deadpool.” The Chameleon plunges the needle right into Harry’s chest, and injects the poison into Harry’s bloodstream faster than Louis can shout out no. Harry immediately lays limp in the Chameleon’s arms. The Chameleon lets him go, dropping him on the dirty rooftop. He smirks at Louis as he gets up off of Harry’s bloody and bruised body.

Bling rage builds up inside of him and he charges the Chameleon, slamming the side of the Chameleon’s head with a roundhouse kick. Before the Chameleon has time to recuperate Louis lands a punch to the side of his abdomen, a loud smack sounds off on the roof. Louis repeats these until his vision is blurred with the tears in his eyes. The Chameleon sneaks in some punches and kicks, but they’re weak compared with the sheer power of Louis’ wrath. 

When he finally comes down from his fury, he looks down at the Chameleon lying on the ground. He’s already got a bruise forming below his eye and a busted lip. Louis’ sure he looks somewhat the same. He’s panting and his fists are balled up, ready to go again.

“Damn, I’m gonna need this the next time I wanna get blackout drunk. Luckily, I have a fast metabolism for drugs, alcohols and most poisons. This should be fully out of my system in no time.” Harry slurs, he slowly props himself up on the palm of his hand. He looks around hazily, trying to gauge the situation between Louis and the Chameleon.

“Harry,” Louis says relieved, and of course he’s not dead. He’s not called the  Regenerating Degenerate ,  for nothing. Louis leaves the Chameleon and rushes over to Harry. “Are you okay?” He crouches down and practically rips off the mask from Harry’s face. Harry’s whole face is bloody, but most of it looks dried and the rest of his face seems pretty much healed. Thank God for Harry’s regenerating power.

“As peachy as your bum, sweetcheeks.” Harry winks cheekily, he even adds a wiggle of his eyebrows at Louis and that’s how Louis knows that he’s going to be just fine.

“Did you bring your guns?” Louis asks frantically, still touching everywhere on Harry’s face. He’s got to make sure Harry can at least semi protect himself in the slightly drugged state he’s in.

“Yep, got two of them right here, Spidey.” Harry lifts his arms up and flexes his biceps. Louis rolls his eyes and gives Harry a pointed look. “Ugh, you’re literally no fun. Yes, I brought my guns.” He pulls one out and turns it over in his hand, proving to Louis that it’s real.

“Don’t forget about me, friends.” The Chameleon jumps on Louis’ back, tackling him to the ground in a fiery frenzy. But when Louis finally gets a good look at him, he’s not the same white-faced Chameleon. To Louis’ horror he realizes that the Chameleon has cloned him, down to the rip on the suit on his inner thigh.

It’s all a flash of red and black, punches being thrown while tumbling around on the roof. Louis can’t tell if he’s hitting the right areas to get the Chameleon off him, it’s all just frantic hitting, no finese to it. Louis finally gets the upperhand and flips them over, putting his foot to the Chameleon’s throat.

“Get off him!” Harry shouts, drunkenly. Pointing his gun at Louis. Louis looks down at the Chameleon and back at Harry and then to the Chameleon again. Harry can’t differentiate between the two of them. He can’t exactly blame him, the Chameleon looks eerily similar to him. Louis backs off immediately, retreating from where the Chameleon is but he makes sure to still keep his guard up around him.

“Thanks Deadpool, I really owe you. Now let’s finish this imposter before he hurts more people.” His voice sounds exactly like Louis’ and it makes Louis’ head swim. Doubt swims in his stomach, he’s not sure that if in Harry’s drugged, loopy state he’ll be able to figure out who the real Louis is.

“He’s lying! I’m the real Spider-Man.” Harry switches his attention to Louis and narrows his eyes. He looks back to the Chameleon then to Louis, his gun an extension of his arm, continually switching between the two of them.

“Shit, I’m not sure how I’m gonna figure this out.” Harry looks genuinely worried. “Quick you, say something only the real Spidey would tell me.” Harry says to Louis, flicking his gun at him. What the hell does Harry want to hear? He doesn’t have a secret identity like normal people with mutant powers. Everyone knows that Deadpool’s real name is Harry Styles, so he can’t use that.

He thinks of something, but he’s not particularly happy about having to say it out loud. “We’re ex-lovers?” He winces, even saying it. He gets a reaction he wasn’t quite expecting

There are tears in Harry’s eyes as he points the gun straight to Louis’ forehead. “Don’t say it unless you mean it, Spidey! Don’t play with me and my precious feelings.” Harry’s voice starts to slur and his eyes get decidedly more droopy.

“Yeah shoot him, Harry.” The Chameleon chants, he sounds absolutely thrilled by the idea. Harry squints at the Chameleon, clearly still not sure who’s who.

“I know how to settle this,” Harry says pointedly, “I’m gonna shoot both of you. I mean, I kinda like being Spider-Man and I’m pretty damn good at it too. Gonna shoot you first though.” Harry aims the gun at The Chameleon’s head. Right as his finger is on the trigger Louis shouts out.

“Don’t!” Louis reaches out to grab the gun, but Harry pulls it out of his reach.

“Ding ding ding!” Harry sings, he doesn’t waste anytime before he shoots the Chameleon in the thigh though. The Chameleon hollers out in pain, applying pressure to his open wound. “The real Spidey wouldn’t want me to hurt  _ anyone _ .” Harry turns to look at him again with a dopey smile on his face. “I knew it was you the whole time, sweetcheeks.”

“That is obviously not true.” Louis reprimands, as he stalks over to Harry and grabs one of his Spider-Man sleeves that contains the web shooters from Harry’s arm. “Now web him up with the other one before he escapes. I’ll get the police.” Louis hops down and whistles real loud for the police.

The police are already stationed outside the building, waiting patiently in their cars. He waves real big and motions for them to come in. They all hurriedly get out of their cop cars and start bustling into the building, one by one. It only takes a couple minutes before they’re on the roof, putting the webbed up Chameleon in handcuffs.

The Chameleon starts spitting at them in Russian. Whatever he’s saying it can’t be very flattering. Louis stands next to Harry and crosses his arms. “Do you have any idea what he’s saying?” 

“Probably something about how good your Spidey ass looks in my suit.” Louis rolls his eyes, but this time decides to play along.

“Hm, you really think so?” Louis crosses his arms and puts his weight on one of his legs, cocking his hip out.

“Oh, I know so.” Harry reaches out and pinches Louis’ ass. Louis quickly slaps his hand away, blushing furiously.

“Hands off the merchandise.” He wished he said it more confident and suave, not like a flustered schoolboy with a crush.

“Would you like a ride home, baby?” Harry asks, lifting his one hand up in the air indicating his last web shooter. Louis realizes that he suddenly seems a lot more lucid. Louis silently wonders if maybe Harry was faking being affected by whatever the Chameleon shot him up with the whole time, some sort of tactic he thought he could use to reveal the real Chameleon. He is one mysterious being.

“Very much so.” Louis gives him back the other web shooter glove. “Only if you promise to not grope me while he swing from the tops of buildings.”

“You know I can’t promise that.” Harry says, slapping on the glove with a sharp snapping sound.

“Ugh, fine. But only from the waist up.” Louis knows that that’s the best he’s gonna get and at the end of the day he’s more than okay with a little touching.

“I can totally work with that.” Harry smirks and picks Louis up from the waist, hoisting him onto his hip. Louis yelps and grabs onto Harry’s torso, before settling there comfortably.

“How does my suit fit by the way?” Louis peers up and asks. Harry seems very much like a real superhero in this light. His regal stance and the way the sun is hitting his hair as it goes down.

“A bit uncomfortable to be honest, Spidey. It’s the twenty-first century, you shouldn’t have to deal with the prejudice of uncomfortable super suits. I’ll get you in touch with my guy.” He sounds so affronted about Louis’ suit, that Louis genuinely bursts out laughing. 

Thinking about it Louis doesn’t think it’s that bad, but it has been a couple years since he’s gone through a suit change. Maybe he’ll get it tuned up soon. Once he gets all of Harry’s gross sweat and germs off of it. 

“How about mine?” Harry walks to the edge of the building, getting prepared to start building hopping.

“Snug like a bug in a glove.” Louis says, closing his eyes for a moment and relishing in the way the soft breeze hits his face. He doesn’t even fully register the weirdness of what he just said. It’s been a long couple of weeks.

“Really? Could’ve had me fooled from the way it’s drooping off of you.” Louis delivers a sucker punch to Harry’s abdomen. Harry lets out a groan. “Fuck, forgot you’ve got super strength and can actually hurt me.” Louis feel a little shaky in Harry’s arms, like he could be dropped by him at any moment. But he trusts Harry and the fact that if Harry dropped him Louis would retaliate by shaving off all of his hair in the middle of the night.

“Thank God I do, someone has got to put you in your place.” Louis says, before closing his eyes again and settling into Harry’s warm body.

“Glad it’s you, baby boy.” Harry jumps off the roof, and Louis’ stomach drops in the way it only does when he’s on a spectacularly scary rollercoaster, or he’s flying through the tops of New York’s finest buildings. 

“Don’t call me baby boy, it’s very condescending.” Louis’ nose wrinkles when Harry calls him that. 

“Boobear?” Harry asks, tilting his head down to look at him.

“Not that either.” Louis gives Harry a look, that along the lines means  _ you’re a fucking idiot, why would I ever let you call me that? _

“Well it’s either that or baby boy.” Harry says, very matter of fact about the issue. Louis grumbles about it for a couple of moments before finally giving in. That tends to be something he does a lot with Harry.

“Fine, you can call me baby boy if you must.” He quietly succumbs, hoping Harry might miss it in the wisp of the brisk wind.

“I’m probably gonna call you both.” Louis raises his hand to give him another sucker punch but ends up deciding against it. Mostly for their own safety, they are swinging about three hundred feet above the ground.

“Where to Spidey?” Harry asks, clutching onto his waist even harder at a particularly rough turn.

“Home, please.” Hopefully, Harry will get that he wants to go to his apartment, not that shitty motel room. He makes a mental note to get his stuff from there later.

They swing together from the tops of New York’s skyscrapers before they end up at Louis’ apartment complex. It’s a bit run down but Louis thinks that the decaying brick wall adds character to the place.

“Apartment 203, right?” Harry must really strain his neck to look at Louis, because of the position they are in, but he struggles through the pain and does it anyway.

“It’s only a little bit creepy that you still remember my apartment number.” Louis grabs onto Harry as he takes a deep drop, before shooting webs at Louis’ apartment building and pulling them towards it. Harry’s got a crazy knowledge of the tips and tricks of Louis’ web shooters for someone’s first time trying them. Beginner’s luck.

Harry drops Louis off on the balcony of his apartment. There’s a moment where Harry’s sitting on Louis’ balcony ledge and he thinks that this might be it. Harry’s going to go again, Louis probably isn’t going to see him for another year. The thought makes something ugly churn inside his stomach flip, a feeling akin to something that only happens when he’s about to throw up.

“You wanna come in?” Louis asks voice low, as he slides the door open. Giving a Harry a chance to pretend like he didn’t hear it, to just go away and pretend none of this ever happened.

“I’ve gotta get my suit from you somehow.” Harry smirks, jumping off the ledge and onto Louis’ little patio. Louis rolls his eyes and lets him in before shutting the door behind him.

“Want a cuppa?” Louis throws over his shoulder, as he heads into the kitchen. Everything seems a bit dark in apartment, since it’s been abandoned for the last couple weeks in favor of keeping Louis’ real identity secret.

“Sure.” It takes Louis a little while to make it but when he does, he heads back over to where Harry’s plopped down on the couch with two steaming cups. He gives Harry his old favorite cup, it’s got a poorly done hand drawn Hello Kitty face on it. Harry for some strange reason resonated with it and forced Louis to get it, the memory seems like forever ago.

Harry inhales a big sniff of the tea and then lets out a gasp, “There is truly no cuppa as great as yours.”

“I beg to differ. I’d like to think Obama makes a pretty good cuppa.” Louis sits on the edge of the couch, curling his legs up and blowing on the steam.

“Hm, I’ll have to ask if I ever meet him. Doubt he makes his own though, probably has his bodyguard do it for him.” Harry takes a sip from his mug but it must be too hot judging from the face he makes once the tea hits his tongue.

“True, his name is probably something awful like Joe too.” Louis giggles, enjoying the easy atmosphere and the hot steam hitting his face.

“Bodyguard Joe who’s job description is to literally just make Obama’s coffee.” They both burst out in laughter before taking another sip of their now cooled down tea. “Hey, I should probably get my suit from you now.” Harry says, setting his mug down on one of the various coasters on Louis’ table.

“Yeah that’d probably be the best.” Louis tries not to think about the fact that Harry seems pretty adamant about leaving as soon as possible. 

Harry sets down his cuppa and walks over to Louis, until he’s cornering Louis to the back of the couch. “Well, hand it over Spidey.” He’s got this stupid smirk on his face, as he looks Louis up and down, before settling his eyes on Louis’.

“What?” Louis blubbers, his eyes flickering from Harry’s eyes to his lips. It’s hard to focus on just one part of Harry’s face. Especially when they’re this close to each other.

“Strip, Spidey.” His tone is taunting, like he doesn’t really expect Louis to start stripping right in front of him. “There’s only one way to get my suit back.”

“I’d like to think there are multiple ways.” Louis huffs, but Harry’s hands are already running down over Louis’ waist. Harry stops on his hips before gripping them, mean even while his thumbs rub soothing circles in the hollow of Louis’ hipbones. Louis squeezes his eyes shut, trying hard not to think about how big Harry’s hands are and how they seem to fit around him perfectly.

He easily lets Harry removes his cup from his hands and place it down somewhere unknown. “Come on, baby. I wasn’t going to just leave after all we went through, besides there’s still a bit of adrenaline coursing through me. The sort of high you only get when you take down a really,  _ really _ bad guy.” Harry’s kissing up his neck, planting soft kisses with every word, before he ends up biting at the bottom of Louis’ ear. Louis squirms, but doesn’t move from his grip. He could easily overpower Harry, he can see the way out from Harry’s body. Harry subconsciously or not is giving him the option to say no if he wants to. Louis really doesn’t want to.

“Yeah, I know.” Louis starts clawing up Harry’s back, clutching onto him holding him there so he doesn’t move. Doesn’t ever disappear. Louis needs the reassurance that he’s actually there. Louis pulls Harry’s head up from his shoulder and latches onto his curls pulling him into a deep kiss. Louis’ lips tingle when Harry pries his mouth open. Their mouths move together in synchronized bliss, a heavy weight of emotion and lust flowing through Louis starting from his lips to the tips of his toes. Harry bites Louis’ lip and keeps it in between his teeth as he drags it out before letting it snap back.

Harry scoots down Louis’ body, pulling down the bottom half of the Deadpool suit. Louis blushes furiously as Harry looks up and Louis and raises an eyebrow. “Commando? Gotta say I’m kind of surprised, Spidey. Proud moment for daddy.” 

“Shut up.” Louis says, biting down on the back of his hand. He tries not to come at the sight of Harry on his knees, it’s been awhile alright. Harry leans down and sucks the tip of Louis’ dick into his mouth. Louis’ thighs squeeze up against Harry’s head. He lets out a loud groan his head falling back onto the couch. Harry starts bobbing his head up and down, sinking down further on Louis’ cock, opening his throat to take in more. His hand wraps around the base of Louis’ dick and he keeps squeezing it intermittently. 

Harry comes off with a wet popping sound. “Hey love, I know I give spectacular blowies but would you mind holding my hair back, so that it’s not in my face.” Louis’ brain doesn’t quite compute with what Harry’s telling him. “Oh, I’ve got you speechless that hasn’t happened in awhile.” Now he’s got a stupid smirk on his face, and Louis snaps out of the daze he was in.

Louis reaches his hand down, and he runs his hands through Harry’s hair before getting a good grip and tugging on it. Harry lets out a little gasp, as his face crunches up. “Fuck, alright. I guess I kind of asked for that one.”

“You always ask for it.” Louis teases, still running his hands through Harry’s hair.

“I liked it better when you were in awe of my mystical dick sucking powers.” Harry pouts. Louis scowls at him, but the comment is soon forgotten when Harry lowers back down. He takes Louis’ dick back into his mouth. Louis scrapes his fingernails on Harry’s scalp, he still has a tight hold on his hair, but this time Harry doesn’t complain.

Harry flicks his tongue in a spectacular way that’s got the muscles in Louis’ stomach quivering. Harry’s eyes flick up to looks at him and Louis never knew how smug he could look with a dick in his mouth, but he never ceases to amaze Louis.

On one of the downward bobs of his head, Harry tries to deepthroat. He slows down and starts breathing heavier, lowering farther and farther onto Louis’ dick before he gags but he doesn’t stop. He stays there until his nose is pressing up against Louis’ stomach.

“Ah,” Louis gasps, his whole body seems to be going into shock. He tries to muffle the sound in his shoulder. He can feel Harry’s eyes on him, but he can’t muster enough strength or stamina to look Harry in the eyes right now.

“Alright stop,” Louis hoarsely whispers, his toes curling up in pleasure. Harry slurps as he comes off Louis’ dick, wiping the excess spit with the back of his hand before he’s above Louis again, right in front of his face. 

“Don’t want to come like that, do you?” Harry knows the answer, but he’s a sadist, the worst type too. A humiliation kink sadist, eating up the embarrassment on the other person’s face. Louis can’t help but wonder if it’s just with Louis that Harry gets like this. “Wanna get fucked.” Louis can’t produce a sound louder than an agreeing whimper. His arms somehow finding their way back to Harry’s back clutching onto Harry’s massive shoulder blades. God, everything about him is massive. “Hm, let’s take this to the bedroom then.” Harry doesn’t waste anytime in picking Louis up and throwing him over his shoulder.

Before Louis gets the chance to protest, he’s being thrown down onto his bed and Harry’s crawling back over to him. His biceps are bulging with the stress of planking over Louis how he is. It’s hard not to notice when his biceps are literally the size of Louis’ head. He was serious when he meant  _ everything _ was large.

“Have you got any lube?” Harry asks, picking up a stray piece of Louis’ fringe and putting it back into place. Louis doesn’t think about how his heart stops at the gesture. He nods his head and nods towards his bedside drawer. 

“You keep your lube in a drawer besides your bed? What are you a fifteen year old boy?” Harry laughs, as he reaches over and shuffles through the drawer. It doesn’t take him awhile before he pulls it out. 

“Well, where am I supposed to put it?” Louis snaps, putting lube in a bedside drawer is very convenient. Louis has no idea what Harry’s talking about.

“Literally anywhere but there. You could be like me and keep it out in the open, shows my dominance, lets people know I have lots of good sex.” Harry smirks, sitting back on his haunches. 

“Sure you aren’t compensating for something by keeping it out in the open?” Louis snipes back. Harry knows that he’s got a big dick. Everyone in Canada and the entire tri-state area knows that Harry’s got a big dick. It’s not a well kept secret, and Harry tends to get an incredibly big head about it. It’s Louis’ job to make sure it doesn’t get too big. That’s what he said.

“I think you know that I very much am not.” A blush spreads across Louis’ face, it’s been awhile since he’s thought thoroughly about Harry’s dick. The seeming perfection of it always seemed a bit hysterical. He remembers the first time they had sex and the feeling of being stretched so wide that he thought he’d have to opt out. But even though you would think Harry would be overcompensating for something by boasting about how great his sex is, he actually is great at sex. It’s a mysterious happening how great it is. Louis jokes in his head about it being part of the mutation gene, making Harry miraculously good at sex.

Louis doesn’t joke though when Harry’s already got a finger slicked up and prodding at his ass. “Straight to business, I see.”

“Oh I’m sorry, would you like me to talk you through it? Bloody virgin you are.” Harry fauxly rolls his eyes, but Louis can see the pure joy on his face as he thinks about talking Louis through it.

“No, I definitely don’t want you talking me through this-“ It’s too late though, Harry adds a bit more pressure and then the tip of his finger is wiggling around in his ass. It’s been awhile since he’s had anything up there, even his own fingers. He’s barely had enough time for a quick wank now and then.

"You haven't bottomed lately have you?” Harry’s such a bullshitter. There’s no possible way to tell that Louis hasn’t bottomed in awhile. Harry slides his whole finger in up to the third knuckle. Louis bites his lip and looks up at the ceiling, his ankles dragging on the sheets.

"Not since-" Louis cuts himself off, breathless already. Just from one finger, Christ he’s embarrassing. Harry gets a bit cocky at that, curling his finger up until he hits a certain spot in Louis that’s got him moaning loudly. His nails digging into Harry’s shoulders.

"Not since who? Judging from how you're reacting to only one finger up your ass not for a while. Maybe since me, huh?” Harry starts fucking him with his finger, thrusting up into Louis in rhythm with every word that comes out of his mouth. "When was the last time you got laid, Spidey?" Louis closes his eyes, not able to deal with Harry’s clearly failed attempt at dirty talk. Louis’ dick is so hard, laying fat and hard against his belly, leaking a steady amount. Okay, so maybe not  _ failed _ dirty talk, but it’s definitely not appreciated.

“Been holding out for me? Precious, good hearted Spider-Man getting fucked by the merc with the mouth Deadpool, it’s quite a sight to be seen.” He doesn’t know why it gets to him so much, but Louis’ chest is heaving and he keeps letting out choked whimpers.

He doesn’t even realize Harry has been slicking up another finger, until he plunges them both into Louis’ ass. Louis’ knees fall in together, not able to compete with all the sensation he’s getting. Harry cranes his neck to suck bruises into Louis’ thighs. Louis chokes at that, a guttural sound releases from his throat. Once it happens Louis bites onto his knuckles, his other hand sneaks down his stomach slowly. He grabs at his cock and starts jerking himself off slowly. There’s an intense panicked heat building up in his stomach and it decreases slightly when he starts touching himself. It calms him down only as much as a hand on his cock can.

He starts squirming against the sheets, he feels full but it’s not enough. He wants another finger but he’s too overwhelmed to open his mouth and ask for one. Harry must get it though, because he withdraws his fingers. He tentatively gives Louis’ knee a kiss when Louis lets out a disappointed sound at the lose, before adding more lube to his fingers and easing three into his ass.

Louis’ head falls back onto the bed. He stops jerking himself off, already feeling too close to the edge. Harry stretches his fingers out, preparing Louis for his cock. He kisses up Louis’ thigh, giving harsh bites as he moves closer to his abdomen.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you jerking yourself off.” Louis doesn’t know why but his heart stops. It almost sounds like Harry’s scolding him and a deep shame washes over him when he hears it. It’s not particularly bad though, Louis kind of likes the way his stomach swirls at Harry’s disapproval. Harry starts giving hard, biting thrusts with his fingers. His other hand coming around and pinching Louis’ asscheek.

Harry stretches his body up so that he’s leaning over Louis again. Harry’s hot breath fans out over Louis’ face. Louis gulps and tilts his head up, silently asking for a kiss, Harry instantly leans down. Louis succumbs to Harry’s biting kiss, it’s bruising and harsh in the way that it usually is but there’s sentiment behind it and Louis can’t quite figure it out. When Harry comes up from the kiss it’s got Louis stunned into silence. Harry gives a quick kiss to Louis’ nose and then sits back on his haunches, slowly removing his fingers from Louis’ ass.

Louis whines lowly, but Harry uses his free hand to pet over Louis’ knee and thigh comforting him in the absence of Harry’s fingers. They really are quite something, something mystical that Louis will never understand. He lets out a sigh and tries to readjust himself so he’s more comfortable. He feels more relaxed than he has in weeks. It’s the knowledge that he just defeated the cause of his imminent stress and now being able to be in bed with Harry, and just be. It’s a sense of bliss and serenity that he hasn’t felt in awhile.

Harry tugs Louis’ legs up so that they wrap around his waist, pulling Louis closer to him. Louis can feel the prod of Harry’s dick at his hole. He squeezes his eyes shut not able to comprehend that he’s about to let Harry fuck him again.

Harry hovers over Louis, holding his weight with just one hand while the other slicks his dick up with lube. Louis’ hands wander over Harry’s arm and his shoulders, feeling all the tense muscles moving under his hand.

“You ready?” Even though Harry is known for being a complete weirdo, who has absolutely no boundaries, he always makes sure Louis’ ready and consenting. It was that quality that made Louis feel a bit more fond towards him the first time they had sex. One of the heroic traits Harry’s obtained over the years. 

“Mhm,” Louis nods, and bites his lip, bracing for impact. Harry pushes his dick in, and Louis immediately lets out a little cry. His neck and back arched in the sheets. Harry slowly sinks into him, taking his sweet time until Louis’ squirming on the sheets. He can’t possibly wait another second for Harry to start pounding into him.

“Fuck,” Harry sounds genuinely overwhelmed. It’s the first time Louis looks up at his face since he’s dicked in and his pupils are blown wide. Harry’s mouth is parted, blowing little puffs of air onto Louis’ face. “If someone had told me a couple years ago that I’d be able to fuck your ass again, I would've shot them in the face just for toying with my precious emotions.” Louis’ face screws up in distaste. He doesn’t like to hear about Harry blowing people’s faces off, especially during sex. Yet something burns in the pit of his stomach nonetheless.

"Oh sorry, I forgot sweet Louis Tomlinson can't hear about how I shoot people in the face for a living.” Harry starts moving his hips, and it’s manipulative because moans seem to fall out of Louis’ mouth whether he wants them to or not. Harry’s thrusting into him with no abandon. Louis can’t seem to focus on what he’s saying yet he can still understand every word. His whole body is on alert for what he’s going to say next. It’s then that he realizes that he’s hanging off every one of Harry’s dirty words. 

“You like that, don’t you? Like not being so good for once. That’s why you keep me around, huh? For a good dirty fuck once in awhile.” Harry punctuates every thought with a sharp piston of his hips. It hits Louis to his core. His ass clenching up and his hands clawing up Harry’s back. It’s not true. It’s  _ not  _ true. 

Louis doesn’t just want Harry around for a good fuck. He wants him around for tomorrow and the next day and the next. Doesn’t want him to disappear like he did back then without a single word. There’s a slight panic rising in the back of Louis’ throat and he feels so overwhelmed, with how good Harry is fucking him and how stupid Louis was because he could never differentiate sex and feelings with Harry. It’d always been all or absolutely nothing.

Louis keens into the sheets from a particularly good thrust. He curls up after it putting his forehead on Harry’s chest so he doesn’t have to look at him straight in the face. “That’s not true. I wasn’t the one who left.” He says softly, he doesn’t really mean to say it but now it’s out there and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

For a couple seconds he think maybe Harry didn’t hear him. That maybe he can get away without having to deal with the inner turmoil that’s been stirring inside him ever since Harry showed up.

"Well I'm not the one who kicked myself out, was I?” He sounds snarky, but his hips slow down. He comes down to Louis’ level and runs his hand through Louis’ hair, pinning Louis’ head to the mattress. He scans Louis’ face, he’s clearly trying to read him. Judging by the way Harry’s eyebrows furrow and how he gets increasingly more frustrated, he can’t.

"I thought you would stay, you never listened to me anyway. I didn’t think you meant it.” When Harry had left Louis had felt gutted and cheated. And also severely guilty, it had all been his fault anyway. If he didn’t want Harry to change so much it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but they were taking their relationship farther and farther every day and Louis needed to know what the fuck Harry’s intentions were. He had met Aunt May for God’s sake. That night Harry said three words and Louis blew up, it wasn’t meant to happen how it did. Louis’ eyes burn just thinking about it.

"You know I meant it. I always meant it.” Harry lowers his face down and he looks so incredibly sad. He’s determined to make Louis see that he did mean it. Even now there's so many things not being said between them. Too much subtext and Louis just needs to get straight to the point. For his own sanity.

"Then why'd you leave?” His voice sounds a lot more broken than he thinks is allowed. His whole mentality is being shaken up right now, and it translates to his body and how his voice is trembling. Mind and body are one and all that crap.

"I thought you were serious and wanted me to leave.” He looks intently at Louis, keeping his eyes steady and on Louis the whole time. It makes Louis want to wriggle away with all the attention on him.

“No.” Louis gets out, his chest is heaving and his breath shaky. “Never. Don't want you to leave again. Please don't go. Please.” He sounds so desperate and he hates it. Hates what Harry does to him, but in the moment he doesn’t regret it. He doesn’t even have a second to think about what he just said before Harry’s gathering Louis up in his arm and peppering his face with kisses.

"Promise. Promise, I'm not gonna leave you ever again, Spidey." Harry whispers and he leaves a lingering kiss on Louis’ cheek and it's the first time Louis realizes that he's been crying, tears streaming down his cheeks. A blush breaks out on his face, but all he can focus on is the movement of Harry’s hips and the way his heart feels like it’s going to explode into a million pieces.

“I love you, baby boy. Never gonna leave, even if you force me.” They kiss for awhile after that slow and sweet before Harry starts fucking him again. This time it’s more slow and sentimental. It’s not a way he’d ever think he’d have sex with Harry but he’s so glad that it happens. 

Harry hits that sweet spot in Louis over and over again, before Louis comes clutching onto Harry’s back as his orgasm feels like it’s ripped out of him. He lets out a loud, telling moan and then rests his check on Harry’s shoulder, riding the aftershocks of one of his most intense orgasms ever.

After Harry comes, he gets up and gets a towel to wash them both off. Harry tries to eat him out but Louis promptly kicks him in the face before he gets there. “I’m too sensitive, you can wake me up by eating me out in the morning if you really want to.” Louis grumbles, curling into the sheets. 

Harry pouts, but climbs into bed with Louis anyway, twirling their hands together underneath the covers where it’s safe and warm. “Hey, did the Chameleon tell you how he always knew where I was?” Louis’ eyes are already closed and he probably won’t even stay awake long enough to hear the answer. His brain too clouded with the need of sleep.

“Mm, he said it was something about a chemical you used in the webbing. The traces of it can appear on buildings where you’ve recently been.” Harry murmurs, curling Louis in his arms and playing with his hair.

“Alright, I’ll work on it when I get back to the lab.” Louis mumbles, rustling around until he’s settled and comfortable in Harry’s arms.

“Oi, I love having a fancy, scientist man as my hubby.” Harry murmurs against his hair, voice getting lower as they both get closer to sleep.

“Whoever said I was your hubby?” Louis has a small smile on his face when he says it.

“I’m pretending we’re hubbies let me be.” Louis pulls out a couple of Harry’s nonexistent chest hairs, so that he’ll shut the hell up and Louis can finally fall into the deep slumber he’s been craving.

  
  


Louis stirs awake when his hips thrust particularly hard into the sheets. He feels what he presumes to be Harry’s tongue prodding at his hole. “Jesus Christ, I was kidding about waking me up with a rim job.” Harry slurps, he’s always been a bit messy when he eats Louis out, as he lifts his head out of Louis’ ass and pats at Louis’ ass cheek.

“I sure as hell wasn’t. Fuck, your ass is heavenly.” Harry moans exaggeratedly and lays multiple kisses over Louis’ asscheeks before leaning back down and licking over his rim. Louis squirms on the sheets and rests his forehead onto his arms. Harry licks over him slowly and surely, spreading Louis’ cheeks and massaging them as he goes.

Louis lets out a soft moan, pushing his ass back on Harry’s face. It doesn’t last long before Harry pins his hips to the bed. He opens his jaw and sticks his tongue into Louis’ ass, circling his tongue around the walls of Louis’ ass. Harry groans into his ass and progressively pushes Louis’ hips farther into the bed. His tongue delving further and further into Louis’ ass, it’s got Louis’ toes curling and his hips twitching forward.

Louis’ senses are still disjointed from being waken up no longer than five minutes ago. He has the urge to reach his hand down and touch himself, but the way Harry’s pinning his hips down makes it nearly impossible. Louis whines at that and flexes his hands in the sheets, wriggling around on the bed. Practically helpless in Harry’s hands, and tongue.

“Mm, what’s wrong baby boy?” Harry hums against his ass, still eating him out. The vibrations sent through him make Louis let out a gasp and bury his head in the sheets. Even though his voice is lost in Louis’ ass, he can still somewhat make out what he says.

“Wanna touch,” Louis slurs, trying to get the thought out but for some reason his brain to mouth function isn’t well,  _ functioning.  _ Louis guesses it’s got something to do with the way Harry’s swirling his tongue and thrusting it incessantly into his ass. Louis starts tensing up all over at the feel of it all.

“Wanna touch yourself?” Harry asks, lifting his head for a brief second. Just because his head isn’t in Louis’ ass, doesn’t mean Harry stops from rubbing his thumb over Louis’ hole. He steadily adds more pressure to Louis’ hole, dipping the tip of his thumb in and then withdrawing it once it starts to feel good. It’s keeps Louis on the edge and squirming even more in his grip.

“Yes,” Louis whines desperately into his pillow. His hips making little movements in the sheets, humping down. It’s not enough friction to get him off, but it’s definitely helping take the edge off of the incessant need. He must say it loud enough to be distinguishable because it doesn’t take longer than a couple milliseconds for Harry to respond.

“Yes what?” Harry taunts, smugly runs his finger up and down Louis’ taint, biting on one of Louis’ ass cheeks as he does it.

“I’m not calling you sir, or daddy.” Louis says, pointedly. He’s not going to stoop that low. He still has standards, even in his current weakened state.

“Come on, you did it once baby.” Louis strains his leg as he reaches it out and kicks Harry in the back of his head. Harry yelps into Louis’ ass, his tongue slipping even further into him which makes Louis groans and his hole clenches up in response.

“Damn, alright. We’ll work up to that one then.” Louis lightly kicks him again. “Fine, I’ll make you come if that’s all you care about,” Harry grumbles before letting up on Louis’ hips. “You can rub yourself off if you want.” Harry smiles on Louis’ asshole, when Louis shifts his hips up and down. He’s rubbing against the sheets, the movements have got his ass fucking back on Harry’s face. 

He keeps making little moans at every thrust. He feels slightly overwhelmed, all the sensations hitting him all at once. His breath continues to get more and more shallow as he gets closer to the edge. 

Harry’s tongue keeps swirling around in pointed, maneouvered tactics all to get Louis closer to the edge. With the increased momentum of Louis’ hips and the laps of Harry’s tongue Louis’ already so close to coming.

“You gonna come?” Louis nods his head, mouthing against the sheets squirming until Harry has to give him a few swats on the ass to calm him down. “Already? That was fast.” Harry teases, smirking in all his stupid, condescending glory.

“Uh,” Louis lets out a low moan, his hips shaking as his orgasm is drawn out of him. Harry presses his tongue flat against his asshole. Harry keeps his face still, as Louis rides his face helping Louis with the aftershocks of his orgasm. Little electric shocks of pleasure coursing through Louis with every twitch of his hips. 

After a couple more seconds Louis falls limp on the bed, his orgasm finally getting the best of him. He is decidedly entirely too sleepy for someone who has just woken up. 

“You okay, baby?” Harry asks, laying across Louis’ back and kissing the back of Louis’ ear.

“Mhm, just need to close my eyes for a second.” Louis mumbles, pushing Harry off of him and rolling over, curling up his body into a little ball so that he’s not lying on the come-stain he just left on his favorite duvet. It’s a shame really.

“Every time you come you’re like a sixteen year old virgin, all sleepy and pliant afterwards. No energy left in those young bones.” Harry pokes at him, laughing silently at him. Louis blindly reaches out to tug on one of Harry’s curls.

“Let me be, and I’m older than you.” Louis pouts and awkwardly reaches out to run his hand over Harry’s face, feeling over ever nick and cranny of his precious face.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, I am timeless.” Harry says, but Louis’ already drifting off. His hand slips off Harry’s face, as he cuddles back into the bed, rubbing his face on the clean pillow.

When Louis wakes up again, Harry’s plastered to his back, snoring loudly behind him. And he wouldn’t chose to wake up any other way.

  
  
  


They’re sitting in the car eating chimichangas. They’ve just finished getting everything back from Louis’ motel room. The radio is on at a low volume, but a key word has Harry reaching over and blasting the volume. 

_ “Yesterday, Spider-Man stole our hearts again after he defeated a giant mutant dinosaur with one flying helicopter and it’s only left little to none damage to our city. Then mere hours later he brings in the Chameleon, a rogue Russian hit-man who is number ten on the most wanted list. Where has this Spider-Man been all our life?”  _ The sound of the reporter, fills up all of the nicks and crannies of the small car. 

“You defeated a mutant dinosaur? How long was I out yesterday?” Louis asks, incredulous. He chooses to ignore the part about Harry being a better Spider-Man than Louis’ been lately.

“Pretty long, and I had to get the Chameleon’s attention somehow, right?” He does have a point there. “Did you hear them? I’m a better Spider-Man than you are.” Harry’s got the biggest shit eating grin on his face. It’s almost worse than Harry’s creeper stare face, almost.

“That is not true! I’m the best Spider-Man, no matter what you do or say.” It doesn’t help his case that Harry saved the city from a mutant dinosaur yesterday, but nonetheless he is the supreme Spider-Man.

“Hm, I guess you’ve got a point. You are definitely more like Andrew than Tobey, and everyone loved Andrew. I personally feel bad for the new guy he’s like ten.” Harry takes a bite of his chimichanga, as if he didn’t just say the most bizarre thing ever. Louis tries hard not to feel jealous of whoever this  _ Andrew _ person is.

“You’re really just a weird alien sent here to destroy me, aren’t you?” Louis settles on that, because that’s the only thing that makes sense about what just said. He is genuinely a weird alien come to destroy him. It’s practically law now.

“I thought that was Superman’s origin story?” Once Harry says that, Louis precedes to look at him like he’s crazy, which he very much is. There’s a couple moments of silence after that. In the silence Louis’ innermost thoughts start to stir and make their way to the frontmost of his mind.

“So, I guess you’re staying right?” Louis says it as nonchalantly as possible, he makes sure to give Harry an out if he wants one.

“I mean I’m sitting here in your crappy car eating chimichangas, pretty sure I’m here for the long haul.” Louis smiles into his chimichanga at that, but it’s not what Louis really wanted to hear. Fuck, he guesses he’ll have to be more articulate. Being vulnerable isn’t one of his strong suits and showing that he does indeed want Harry to stay is harder than it should be.

“I’m being serious. You have to admit you can be really flaky, and your commitment issues aren’t something to brag about.” His chimichanga seems to take on a life of it’s own as a manifestation of all of his inner demons as he takes another harsh bite of it.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve had severe abandonment issues since Rbb and Sbb deleted their twitter.” Louis gives him a look that closely resembles a scowl. Harry should know better than to spew shit that Louis has no idea about.

Harry sighs putting his chimichanga down, which means he’s getting serious. “Louis baby, I fucking love you. I’ve had Spider-Man underwear since day one, and I’ve admired your strength and heroic ability for forever, so the fact that I’m sitting here in a car with you talking about my feelings and our relationship is pretty fucking surreal. So trust me when I say I’m not going anywhere. Okay?” Harry’s got that intense look in his eyes again, and Louis gulps before he starts fiddling with the radio controls, trying to hide his blush from Harry.

“Yeah, okay. I love you too by the way.” He says it super fast, but Harry leans in anyway and presses a chaste kiss to Louis’ lips. Harry rests his forehead on Louis’. The car reeks of chimichangas and Louis’ going to have to go get it cleaned tomorrow before work which he’s really not looking forward to. For now though he takes a deep breath of the gross chimichanga air, closes his eyes and relishes in the touch of Harry’s hand on his cheek and the pressure of Harry’s forehead against his.

“This is when the scene fades to back while Careless Whisper plays in the background and the end credits start to roll.” Harry states and Louis can’t help but smile fondly.

“You’re so ridiculous.” He adds, and then the scene fades to black with Careless Whisper playing in the background, and Harry might just be a smidge right for once.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [shitucute](http://shitucute.tumblr.com) :-)
> 
> the plot of this was based off of this [spideypool](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1In07_QNKI&index=11&list=WL) fan service comic, so if you'd like to go give it a read
> 
> hope you enjoyed! please give lots of kudos and comments, they really mean a lot to me xx


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